Life changes are often challenging and scary but also very necessary. If you’re a person like myself then stagnation in most areas of your life is not something you cherish. I often find myself thinking about what new things I can get into, what habits I can develop and what places I can go to help make my life a more rewarding one. Changing and growing in a positive way has a price that goes beyond nervousness and uncertaintly about the change. Change requires you to leave certain things behind.
When I think back on the major changes that made a true difference in my life I realize that they all involved me leaving some key things behind in order to be able to move forward. Sometimes I left a place behind. Sometimes I left people behind. Sometimes I left habits behind. Sometimes I left a career behind. Rarely did I leave all of those things behind but many times most of them were involved when making a major life change. For me the first major change in my life was a prototype for future changes and one that taught me a lot of lessons about the possibilities that exist when a person decides to let go of things that are holding them back.
That first major change involved me picking up my life on the East Coast of the United States and moving to the West Coast with nothing but a couple of suitcases and all the cash I could raise, and that wasn’t a lot of money. In one fell swoop I left behind a job, family and friends, the city I grew up in and a set daily routine that was familiar and safe. I made that change in part because I never really felt at home in the neighborhood I grew up in. I wasn’t part of any tight knit group of friends although I had a number of friends. So when the opportunity arose to sublease an apartment for a very reasonable price on the beach in California (I could see the Pacific Ocean and hear the waves from the apartment window) I jumped at the chance.
Having made that move I met people I might never have met. I saw places I might never have seen. I had thoughts and experiences that I might never have had. More importantly, I realized that there was much more to life than the neighborhood I grew up in and the environment that was dominated by a few of the people who were considered the in crowd in the place where I grew up. Still, it was a lot to leave behind because it was familar and safe. But I learned early on that familiar and safe are enemies of transformative change in your life. Familiar and safe often keep people in situations that they loathe long after those people should move on.
Having successfully made that first big jump where I came to terms with the need to leave things behind I was able to make further changes in my life. I guess you could say that I was emboldened based on how things went the first time. Truth be told I had made smaller, incremental changes that involved leaving some things behind when I was younger and living at home. I changed jobs. I made some new friends. But the structure of my life remained the same. Still, I’m quite sure that my willingness to change my life in small ways early on gave me confidence for greater changes that were to come.
Considering what I’ve told you above I want you to think about the following. Have you thought about transformative changes you’d like to make in your life? Have you thought about what things you might have to leave behind to accomplish those changes? Have you considered your fears and what may be holding you back from making transformative changes? If not, then I recommend getting on that right away. If so, then I recommend facing up to things that may be holding you back. Make a list of habits, people, places, jobs and situations that you would need to leave behind. Consider the bright side of leaving those things behind.
I’ve learned that we can’t build a brighter future for ourselves if we hold on to the vestiges of the past. Leaving important things behind as we continue our journey through life is difficult, but very necessary. And as we let go we make space for new things that will help us to move ever closer to the person we want to be and the life we want to live.
In The Midst Of A Journey 