Dealing With Corporate Job Related Stress

A few years ago, after 25 years working in corporate America, I began to feel as though I could not shake the effects of stress off anymore. I can’t be sure if it’s the amount of stress I was dealing with, the type of stress, my age or all of the above. I just knew that I was handling stress differently than early in my career. The bottom line is that I didn’t feel myself handling stress well. Instead of a good night’s sleep or a three-day weekend, or even a week’s vacation, putting me back on level ground nothing seemed to shake the feeling inside of me that was at best unsettling and at worst nauseating when it came to performing my work duties. Since my tendency is to seek rational approaches to problems in my life I took some time to study the possible remedies to the situation rather than throwing up my hands in defeat and retreating to live in a trailer up in the mountains or something.

What I found both in my research and my personal experience in seeking remedies for my stress were common recommendations that ultimately don’t solve the issue of stress in the modern workplace, but rather act as window dressing so that corporations can assure themselves that they’re not working their employees into the ground. It seemed to me (and still does) that the priority in terms of corporate remedies for stress management lies in keeping employees productive to the level that modern employers expect from their employees. And modern employers expect a heck of a lot from their employees! Why shouldn’t they? Employees have more tools than ever, such as smartphones, laptops and nearly limitless access to internet connectivity, allowing them to do the bidding of their corporate employers at the office, at home, in transit and just about everywhere in between. Work life balance was a corporate buzz phrase in the early 2000s because that was the time when such technologies were ramping up and people felt the change in the pace of their work and their employer’s expectations. I’ve noticed that in recent years you don’t hear so much about work life balance anymore. I think that’s because employers, who for years touted work life balance as a reason why their companies were different (i.e. better) than other companies, have finally normalized a productivity all the time culture in which work is life.

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The Stuff Paradox

Lately as I ponder a planned retirement from full time work by the end of this year I’ve been thinking about what I’d like life to be like post retirement and have decided that downsizing my life in general will be an important part of that time. I’ve been on sort of a downsizing journey in my life over the past 12 years since a divorce and although I feel that I’ve made good progress getting down to a 2 bed, 2 bath apartment I would like to do all I can to reduce my fixed costs by downsizing even further. The problem I’m running into with these aspirations comes down to…stuff!

Stuff are the things that we accumulate over the years that manage to stick with us wherever we go. In this modern era stuff is easy to come by, but strangely difficult to get rid of. Most people living in modern American society understand this I’m sure. When visiting family members that live in a housing development I often see open 2 and 3 car garages packed with…stuff! Have you ever wondered why you have so much of this or that in your home? It could be books, coffee cups, linens, plates, stuffed animals, shoes or boxes filled with…stuff that you haven’t even thought of for years. Only recently I’ve been working on addressing things I have around my apartment that I either have too much of or pay absolutely no attention to. The goal is to reduce, if not eliminate, such things from my life in service of my plan to eventually live in a one bedroom apartment. But while it’s easy to identify the things that could be gotten rid of its SO…DAMN…HARD to pull the trigger on those plans.

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Eating Like A Cat

I recently heard a veterinarian comment that the ideal situation for a cat’s diet involves the cat being just a little bit hungry. With this approach a cat will stay closer to its ideal weight and avoid the pitfalls of gaining weight that lead to certain diseases and lack of mobility as the cats age. After making that comment the vet then added that it’s an approach that would help humans with their overall health as well. Basically what the vet was saying was to not feed the cat too much. Many cats gain weight as they age since their metabolism slows down and their humans associate a full tummy with a well taken care of cat. This turns into a vicious cycle where the cat becomes accustomed to more and more food as it burns less and less calories, ultimately leading to obesity. Hearing the veterinarian describe this I realized that the same exact things happens with humans as we age.

My own experience with weight as I’ve aged (currently mid-50s) reflects the challenges that many people have. My job is sedentary. I spend hours a day sitting and working at a computer. That certainly does no good for weight management. My job can be quite mentally stressful at times, which leads to what I call stress snacking, which is eating just to calm myself down. I work almost exclusively remotely from home these days, and while I mostly enjoy it I have settled into eating habits that aren’t serving me well. While I’m careful about what I eat and even what I have in the house available to eat I’ve gotten used to regular snacking that is adding unnecessary calories to my diet. Hence, while my weight is just a little over what it should be for my age and height I don’t feel comfortable at this weight. I know that I should be at least 5-10 pounds lighter. At least.

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The Rainy Day Always Comes

If you’re aware of the news lately (and I’d be shocked if you weren’t) markets have turned bearish and commodity prices have risen sharply, basically turning the dynamics upside down compared to where they were in 2025. It’s a trend driven by the military action in the Middle East, whose long-term impacts and ultimate conclusion are greatly in doubt at this time. Hence, it’s unclear when things will turn around and stock markets will once again become bullish (meaning that stock values will once again continue rising) and gasoline prices will come down. Welcome to the world folks. The little people (which is just about all of us) never know when the great powers will make moves that turn the world upside down. We also never know (for sure at least) when things will go right-side up. So welcome to the proverbial rainy day. This being a time when prudence reigns over risk taking and when the people who eschewed the proverbial financial umbrellas (those are for losers, right?) are drenched in fear for their financial future. The thing is that everyone needs a financial umbrella because as many people are learning now, and I’ve learned over decades of saving and investing, that the rainy day ALWAYS comes eventually.

Now if you look at media coverage of financial topics in this time you’ll find lots of opinions, as always, of what investors should do next. Most of that coverage promotes a changing strategy to meet changing times. As far as I’m concerned such advice only makes sense if you’re one of the (far too many) people who think that prudence in terms of investing is for losers and wimps. What I will be doing, as I’ve always done, is to stay the course and continue to buy low cost index mutual funds at regular intervals, thereby taking advantage of good old Dollar Cost Averaging (DCA) which, over time, will more than offset any temporary paper “losses” for the mutual fund shares that have reduced in value. For 25 years I’ve purchased in down markets and I’ve purchased in up markets, only selling shares when money was needed and I couldn’t cash flow a cost out of my salary or other cash savings. A great example of this was cashing in mutual fund shares when I needed a down payment for a primary residence. Another example was when an older vehicle of mine ceased to be reliable and I decided to buy a new car for cash. These examples are the exception rather than the rule though. Most mutual fund shares that I have purchased years ago I still hold, and market downturns like the current one have only deigned to chip away a small amount of my returns on those shares. Even then, that’s just on paper. In real terms the only loss taken when the value of a share falls is if a person panics or is otherwise forced to sell that share at a loss. Sometimes that is truly necessary but usually only if a person has failed to consider a financial umbrella in the event of a rainy day. More about that follows.

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Life’s Tactical Decisions

Lately, for whatever reason, I’ve been thinking about some of the key decisions I’ve made in my life. I call these Tactical Decisions. Tactical decisions are undoubtedly very important ones in life but their ultimate impact is usually not known for years. I’m talking about decisions such as accepting or departing from a job, getting married or getting divorced, staying where you live or moving someplace else, buying or selling a home, pursuing a graduate degree or taking that dream vacation. Those are just a few examples, but many of them all of us are likely to contemplate throughout our lives. One thing to notice about tactical decisions is that there is almost always a ying vs. yang relationship to them. Such as entering into a marriage vs. exiting a marriage via divorce. It’s possible that over time you will experience both sides of each coin. I know that I have. I’ve found that when some of these decisions have gone wrong (from my perspective at least) there has been a tendency to second guess them. I’ve also found that there’s really no point in second guessing after a decision has been made. It’s just a mental exercise at that point, and usually a painful one at that. We can only accept that we made the decision that we made and move forward from there.

My marriage and ultimate divorce 11 years later are two of those tactical decisions that have weighed on my mind. The marriage produced two children which yielded many wonderful family moments. The anticipation of a new pregnancy. The joy of a new birth. The sometimes exhausting but often joyful process of raising little ones. The process of the relationship with my ex-wife produced many wonderful moments. The first kiss. Falling in love. Discovering each other. The feeling that you were going to walk the world with that special someone. Alas, I experienced the downside of both marriage and family. The feeling of growing apart from a spouse and not knowing how to reverse that process. The frustration when I knew the marriage was not going to make it. The dread of being separated from my children post divorce. The feeling of the children’s love slipping away due to the phenomenon of parental alienation, which is more common than I realized. The financial and emotional cost of all of the above are staggering. On the one hand I mourn the past at times. On the other hand I marvel at how resilient I’ve been. I haven’t allowed the setbacks in life to break me. But yes indeed I have bent! I’ve come to realize that the process of bending in the wake of pressure is likely what prevents one from breaking. Divorce, and the related family fallout, have been painful but I have resigned myself to the fact that they were necessary since my ex-wife and I were drifting hopelessly apart. Hanging on to the marriage may have done more damage in the long run. Since then my next tactical decision with regard to relationships has been one to clearly avoid marriage. Because for all the joy of the upside, the pain of the downside is a more frightening proposition.

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The Power Of Frugality In Wealth Building

Over the years people have called me cheap. Okay, perhaps they’re right about that but I prefer the categorization of frugal. From where I sit people who can be called cheap just don’t want to spend money…for whatever reason. But my perception of frugal people is different. I see frugal people as those who fail to spend…on some things…with a purpose. My purpose in not spending, where possible, is related to my desire to retire early and live well for the rest of my days. With that goal in mind I’m happy to pay for the necessities of life and to enjoy life where possible without joining the masses who worship at the altar of consumerism. Things, in particular, have never excited me too much. Things like a fine leather sectional sofa or a new car or an expensive watch. There are so many things people love to spend their money on these days. We used to think back in the 1990s that the Home Shopping Network (HSN) was a niche channel on cable that catered to shopping addicts. But today the near immediate satisfaction offered by the internet has revealed just how much mass there is in mass consumerism. Not being excited by things I have not joined in the orgy of internet spending, at least not to the level of most American adults. I enjoy my 25-year old IKEA couch. I enjoy my 15-year old dining table and chairs. I enjoy my 20-year old mattress, to name a few household items I’ve had for a stretch. Because when I think of those things, and others, in my apartment the thought of replacing them doesn’t move me as much as the thought of retiring early and living well in later years moves me.

Oh sure, I’ve been known to love technology in my day so I do have a MacBook Air, an iPad, and a Windows laptop. But when I buy these things I keep them for years, not trading them in every year or two when new versions come out. I confess I went a few early iPhone cycles upgrading every year. I quit that somewhere around iPhone 6 though. I now have a Samsung Android phone that’s 2.5 years old. I’m quite happy with it and don’t feel the need to have the latest and greatest phone with Artificial Intelligence (AI) features. When I do buy a new phone I usually get one that’s been out for at least year, has been discounted, and doesn’t include all the pro features that top of the line smartphones are known for. When I moved last, about 3 years ago, I was really wanting an updated 4K TV so I gave my ten year old 50-inch LCD TV to a maintenance guy at the apartment complex where I was moving from. When I arrived at my new home I bought a new 50-inch OLED 4K TV. I also decided I wanted to have really nice sound to enjoy those 4K action movies I love so I added a companion soundbar. So I’ve been known to splurge on things from time to time! But my spending on things like that are the exception rather than the rule. After I moved into a condo I purchased in late 2022 I had problems with the refrigerator. People I talked to about it urged me to get a new refrigerator. Now there’s no shortage of places where you can order a refrigerator online, have them bring it to your door and have them take the old one away. I looked at comparable new refrigerators and they all cost over $1,000. So I decided to call a repairman. The person I got diagnosed the problem as a circuit board issue. He happened to have a circuit board because it’s a common fault of my quite common refrigerator. For $300 the fridge has worked well for almost three years since. The way my mind works doing what I did a) reduced the waste of having to junk a refrigerator; and b) freed up $700 that I could save and invest for either retirement or something more critical I’ll need to spend on down the line. That’s my mindset…for better or worse.

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Success Fatigue

Anyone who has pursued a difficult goal that’s taken a long time and a lot of effort to achieve has probably experienced the subject of this post, which is Success Fatigue. For those of us who are goal-driven and success oriented success fatigue is a real threat to the accomplishment of our goals and dreams. I’ll speak about it from my own personal experience as I have experienced success fatigue while working on my health, career, finances and relationships. I’ve also witnessed success fatigue in other goal-driven individuals, either those who I’ve known personally or people whose stories I’ve seen in the media. So what is success fatigue and why is it so important to understand? Success fatigue is a state in which a person who has been actively pursuing a goal begins to resent the effort and sacrifices they have made and begins to feel deprived of experiences they might have had if not pursuing their goal. These feelings often lead to a regression in habits from the disciplined ones practiced during the pursuit of a goal to the undisciplined ones that left the person dissatisfied with a particular aspect of their life in the first place. It’s important to understand success fatigue because, if not acknowledged and addressed, it can lead to a situation where a person backslides and gives up all of the gains they have made towards their life goals. How sad do you think it would be to spend months or years pursuing an important life goal and then find yourself back at square one after abandoning virtuous habits due to success fatigue?

My own personal experience with success fatigue is what colors my perspective on this issue. About 11 years ago after a divorce I decided to dedicate myself to getting in better physical condition. After a decade in the corporate world, advancing my education at night and helping to raise children I had let myself go. My waist had expanded my a few inches. My chest and arms had shrunken. My stamina was all but gone. I had one of those ”I’ve had it” moments one day while looking in the mirror and considering my life situation. Something lit a fire in me to start exercising regularly and eating better, which I did for many months. After about 9 months of focus, discipline and sacrifice (using knowledge gained years earlier when I was a fitness trainer) I found myself in the best physical shape I was in since more than a decade before. I could run for miles without stopping. I had muscle tone and decent strength again. I had dropped inches from my waist and could fit into pants I hadn’t worn for years. Success! Touchdown! It was a great feeling, but perhaps too great. When I realized how well I’d done I was proud but I also failed to realize that I also had started to feel as though I deprived myself too much during that 9 month period. I celebrated my success by getting lax on my diet and exercise regime. I began to skip workouts and splurge more on rich foods and alcohol. Weeks went by and I didn’t notice a difference so I thought everything was good. Then I decided to take an end of summer trip to Miami Beach. The celebration continued. Mojitos, Cuban food, sand and sunshine. Good times! While preparing to go to the beach I put on a swim suit that I had worn months before when I was slimmer. The swimsuit was now tight on me around the waist. I wondered what was wrong. Taking my first critical look in the mirror since I had realized how well I’d been doing months before I could see that my physique had once again changed, slowly but surely, over the weeks when I had changed my habits.

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The Trip That Opened My Eyes

In February 2023 I took what my boss at the time called “an extended vacation” which was a 12-day Caribbean cruise that resulted in me taking nine work days off. This trip ended up being a catalyst for my desire to retire early (before age 60) rather than working full-time till at least 62 years of age, which is what I was planning to do up to that point. There were two general issues that lead me determining that early retirement would be right for me, one of which I confronted prior to the cruise and the other which occurred to me during the cruise. The first issue was the fact that taking nine work days off was considered (by my boss at least) as an extended vacation. The second issue had to do with what I witnessed with respect to the other passengers on the cruise.

The issue regarding the length of time I could take off from work definitely frustrated me as I planned to do something during that particular period in February 2023. As with most people, any kind of a real vacation just wasn’t possible in the years 2020-2022. Add to that fact that during those same years the stress level of my job had ratcheted up considerably. Because I was working at home all the time the expectation was that I’d be available for all kinds of hours and that an increased workload might even be a welcome situation to help distract from everything else in the world. I didn’t see it that way but that’s the way the powers that be defined the time. So by January 2023 when I started to plan my time off I really needed a getaway and not just for a few days either. A two-week vacation, something I hadn’t taken during my 11+ years at the is particular company, would afford me sixteen straight days (ten work days and six weekend days) to enjoy my time off. Sixteen days afforded me some nice possibilities for travel. It became clear to me during the early planning for my vacation that, due to my work responsibilities and my company’s lean approach to staffing, a full two-weeks was untenable. So I compromised and decided to start my vacation on a Tuesday and go through the end of the following week.

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Falling For The Debt Trap

Something very frustrating has been occurring as I’ve been looking at different sources of information related to my plan to retire early, which at this point is about 14 months away. Whether it’s via blog website or YouTube videos I keep finding the content of influencers who all push the fallacy that good debt can help accelerate your path to wealth. My experience as someone who has gone from $0 to a net worth approaching $2 million (with no debt) is that using debt in an attempt to build wealth will only slow you down from achieving true financial independence. Most of the people whose content I’ve seen identify themselves with the so called FIRE (Financial Independence Retire Early) movement and have not yet achieved the FIRE they so desire.

Now I’m a ways down the road of life from the people whose content I’ve seen recently and I know about the debt pitfalls because I’ve experienced them. Yes, I’ve used debt in my life. I’ve had credit cards. I’ve had car loans. I’ve had mortgages. I’ve tried all the credit card tricks like transferring balances to 0% interest cards for a period of time and charging things so I could get points or miles. To name a couple of tricks that credit card companies use to get people hooked on using their cards. But in the end I realized that the purpose of all debt is to help you buy things you really can’t afford, which helps other people build wealth. But not you! Even mortgages, which I’ve had and think can be useful, can be quite destructive as people often use them to buy houses (or condos) that are too expensive in the hope that they can catch up on payments later or sell the property later when values rise. If they rise. And they don’t always rise as people found out in the 2008-9 housing crash. My experience simply has been that debt causes people to overextend themselves and gets people playing games (like accumulating points, miles or cash back bonuses) that distract from true wealth building.

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Friends Come And Go

For some reason I’ve been thinking a lot about my friendships, both past and present, lately. Now that I’m closer to 60 than 50 in my life I realize that there’s a lot of water under the bridge in terms of my friend relationships and things have not turned out like I expected them to on that front. But that’s an important truism in life. Things rarely turn out like you expect them to which can be good and bad. What I’ve found is that even the strongest friendships will come and go in your life and it’s not always because of tragedy or some dramatic event like a passionate argument or a betrayal. Many friendships tend to just fade out as people mature, make changes in their lives and establish new priorities.

At this point in my life I’m down to a couple of close friends who I don’t see very often as we’re in different parts of the country. Those two friends happen to know of each other but are not friends themselves. One friend, Richard, I consider very close because I’ve known him for about 35 years and from time to time we catch up either via phone calls or texts. The other friend, James, I’ve known for about 30 years and as it happens we work for the same company together albeit in different locations. We talk about work often and often that leads to discussions about how each of us and our families are doing. I see James in person a couple of times per year and I saw Richard in person about a year ago when I stayed for a weekend with his family. Before that I saw Richard about every couple of years. Beyond James and Richard I have a handful of friends, many of whom I knew from prior service in the military, who I keep in touch with over text message from time to time. We often kick around the idea of some kind of reunion but it never happens.

The bottom line is that I’ve found that in life, at least in my life, that friends come and go and that being the case it’s not worth fretting over such things too much as people need to be free to manage their lives as they see fit.

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