Game Changers

Most of life is about taking small steps forward. In fact, I’d argue that a person’s ability to take small steps is more important than their ability to take big ones. And so for most things in life I ascribe to the crawl, walk, run theory. You start be learning the very basics of something. Then you move on to a place where you have enough skill to do it on your own. Finally, if you put in the effort, you might be able to accomplish something extraordinary. I’ve also found that there are times in life where assuming that ever change has to be incremental artificially limits a person. When you truly believe that only small gains are ever possible at a given time then that’s likely to be the reality in your life.

I know that there are many people who fantasize about making significant changes in their lives. I know I have. We seek out game changers. As in an event or accomplishment that will reset our lives. Place us on a new path. Set a new direction. Lead us to a higher purpose or better place. I suppose those of us that long for game changers in our lives are dreamers. We’re people who are striving for something more. I’ve had at least one game changer so far in my life and while that event set me on a future course it’s also made me realize just how hard game changers are to come by. Which is why I’m of the belief that you can’t force a game changer. You have to set the table patiently and be ready to capitalize on an opportunity when it presents itself.

When I was in my late twenties I experienced what I would call a game changer. I felt as though I was mired in a soulless corporate job. I felt underpaid, overworked and with little possibility for things to change. Trust me when I say I know this sounds like a cliche! But it was my life at the time. I longed to do work that was more meaningful to me, to have more fun at work and to be paid much better than I was. I was a dreamer for sure. I wanted to own a house, have nice things, travel and be able to afford all of that for a family someday. I do believe that my longing was the first step towards the game changer that came at that time in my life. You need to want something bad enough to be inspired to take the steps necessary to get there.

My longing eventually lead me to action. After a year in my dead end corporate job I’d had enough. For a few months I thought of ways to move on with a soft landing, such as having the perfect new job already lined up. It wasn’t happening. But I was able to figure out another way…if I would be willing to take the risk of moving on without guaranteed employment. It’s a risk I was willing to take. At the time I had no family of my own and no mortgage to pay (just rent on a small apartment) and I figured that I could make it a few months without my salary if necessary. The action I took was the next step setting me up for the game changer. I’ll never know if the change would have happen if I’d just stayed in that first job for a few more months but my sense is that it wouldn’t have. The bottom line is that you need to make some sort of a down payment on your major life change. And that requires action.

I’ll never forget my last day at that corporate job. I walked out of a large building in midtown Manhattan in late spring after meeting with the human resources department for my exit interview. The weather was great and I felt like there were many possibilities. Good, positive feelings gave me a sense of personal power like I hadn’t had when it seemed like my situation was hopeless. All of a sudden I could relax for a bit, clear my head and come up with some ideas. Don’t get me wrong though. I had some nerves associated with cutting the cord from my corporate job. But the positive feelings overwhelmed those nerves. And I think that those feelings were the next key towards finding my game changer. That’s not to say that you have to quit a job to access good feelings. Regular meditation and exercise, and the occasional vacation could help you to achieve the same objectives.

The next phase leading up to my game changer involved something that’s very important in anything significant that you hope to achieve in life, which is patience. I continued with an action plan that involved reaching out to people in my personal network to let them know that I had left my job and that I was looking for something different and something new. I heard many things like “I’ll look into it,” and “ I may have something,” but nothing definitive was offered to me right away. In fact, a few months went by. Did I have moments of doubt? Of course! The road to better things is rarely an easy one. Going back to the first step in my process I still had a longing for something better. Something that I felt strongly was more right for me.

The final phase that allowed me to realize my game changer was all about being ready. Being ready to know when the right opportunity came along. I think most people have experienced a situation where they passed up on an opportunity and then regretted it later. It’s typically because at the time some opportunities present themselves we can’t see the forest through the trees. Our judgement is clouded. This is why being in the right state of mind is so important for good things to happen. I knew that when a friend said that a young company that he had joined was looking for people that I was on the right track. It was a company that was started by people escaping exactly what I was escaping and wanting to do things differently. When I was asked to put together a resume for that position I did not delay! I was ready to send every signal that I was interested to at least have a good chance at a new opportunity.

About two weeks later I found myself sitting at a table beside a golf course talking to one of the leaders of the company about a job. It was not an environment I would think of for a job interview. I was excited to hear about this young company that was on the ground floor of a new industry and doing things very different from my previous employer. I was even warned that the company as young as it was could fail. I remember that didn’t worry me and I responded that if I were brought on that I’d do my best to help the company succeed. When the interview ended I thought it would be the usual, “Okay, we’ll let you know.” But it wasn’t that. The interviewer asked me, “So do you want to work with us?” I responded affirmatively as fast as I could. The person then told me they wanted me to start the following Monday morning and they’d pay me about about 70 percent more than my prior position.

So within the space of a few months I went from a job that I absolutely hated to one that I was extremely excited about, in numerous ways and I realized a shift in my income that would change the direction of my life. The bottom line is that the situation turned out much better than I could have expected and it set me on a path that I would follow for at least the next twenty-five years. Game changer achieved!

I confess to being at a point where I’m thinking of mainifesting another game changer in my life. More to come about that. But what I want to impress on you is the process that I used to bring the game changer in the story about as summarized below.

• Have a longing for the change you want to bring about in life.
• Take action on things that will move you closer to a life change.
• Bring good, positive feelings to bear so that you create a mental environment where positive change can occur.
• Have patience and know that amazing changes can take some time.
• Be ready to identify game changing opportunities when they arise.

One final thought I have is that when you do change the game in your life, it’s important that you do so with gratitude and humility. One game changer a life does not make and even after some big ups there will be some downs that appear along the way. A sense of gratitude and humility is a pretty good antidote for those bad times. More on that to come as well. For now, good luck!