Sweating The Small Stuff

Some of you may have heard of a book called Don’t Sweat The Small Stuff written by Richard Carlson. The premise of the book is a very simple one but following the premise is decidedly difficult for most people. For whatever reason we humans tend to get all wrapped up in the little things in our lives (the small stuff) that in the long run don’t make much of a difference. Yet we tend to obsess over them. And that obsession is costly in that we lose focus with regard to the big picture things that truly make a difference in our lives. I’ve tread over this ground before on a post made nearly three years ago titled The One Thing. Recent events, such as having to deal with two hurricanes in Florida, had me thinking once again about the value of staying focused on the big stuff, the stuff that really matters, instead of obsessing over the little things that in the long run don’t make much of a difference in my life.

What is fascinating to me is how dealing with two hurricanes within two weeks of each other reset my mindset to the point where the numerous small worries that I had been dedicating energy to prior to the storms were completely forgotten. After the storms passed the issues were still there but in my mind their importance was practically eliminated. My attitude on these things went from worrying about how to handle the issues to realizing that they’re not such a big deal. For example, I’d been worrying about the age of my car (over 17 years) and whether or not I should upgrade the vehicle. The fact is that my car runs fine and keeping it has been a factor in helping me to build wealth over the years since I haven’t invested in a car payment. Then the storms came and I was so glad that I had a car that ran well and had a full tank of gas so I could evacuate. Then after the storms I was so glad to have a car that didn’t get flooded out like some many people’s cars did. I honestly don’t know why I was fretting over the vehicle in the first place. But I was for sure. Wouldn’t it be nice to be able to flip that same switch in our minds without needed to massive hurricanes to affect the change?

The idea that I was conveying in the post I mentioned above, The One Thing, is simply that we all need to spend the most time dealing with things that are truly impactful in our lives. While I think I’ve done a pretty darn good job of that over the past few years I also know that I could do a lot better. How about you? For example, lately I’ve been spending more time focusing on traveling and reconnecting with old friends. For me this is a critical activity and important if I want to live a full and happy life. But along with the new focus has come a host of other issues that in the scheme of things are really small. Yet I’ve worried about them. I’m talking about worrying about things like the weather, whether or not my flights will be on time, whether I got the best deal I could on a hotel, or whether some longtime friends that I haven’t seen in years will think I’m a jerk now. Meanwhile, the most important things are really the facts that I’ve made the time to reconnect and that I have the resources to do so. I’ve also recently had some things on my mind with regard to my apartment, which I own. Small stuff (of course!) like not liking how some of the the kitchen cabinets close or that wonky built-in LED light in the kitchen which sometimes flickers a bit. Yet after the storms I found myself so glad that I had a place that hadn’t been damaged or flooded, wonky lights and all. I know better than to let myself get tripped up on small things. Yet I still do sometimes.

How nice it would be to be able to maintain focus on the big stuff without some cataclysmic event occurring in our lives. I think of the film It’s A Wonderful Life where Jimmy Stewart plays George Bailey, a character who is so beset by frustration with all of the small misfortunes in his life that he fails to understand all of the amazing things he’s been blessed with like a loving family, dedicated friends and people who respect him for being a decent man. George Bailey ends up in so much despair that he considers taking his own life but once his eyes are opened to the non-monetary wealth in his life the perspective changes. A good friend of mine once counseled me in a tough time by saying the following. It’s not what you have that matters. It’s how you feel about what you have. In order to feel anything about what we have we must open our eyes and take stock of the good things in our lives. This is one way I believe that we can regain focus without having to deal with a cataclysmic event. We must be the ones to trigger the appreciation for all that is working in our lives and what we can build upon. I know of no other process that will do it for us!

I’m quite sure that there are some people who will read this and think that they’re beyond being able to take stock of the good things in their life because there are so many bad things happening. Well, if you’re reading this you have your life. And that’s a darn good start. It’s also very good if you have your health to the extent that you can get up and move about. The motivational speaker Les Brown always says, “If you can look up you can get up!” If you can get up you’re alive and you have a platform to build from. A new attitude that’s focused on the big stuff in your life can be engineered by starting each day by asking yourself what’s good in your life and what’s important in your life. Do it when you’re in front of the mirror in the morning. Do it when you’re making coffee or tea in the morning. Do it when you’re in the car or on the train commuting to work. It doesn’t need to be done out loud either. Even just thinking it is beneficial. The important thing is to retain that focus, every day if possible. This is what I’ve been focusing on lately.

The idea of not sweating the small stuff is simple, but like so many things it is difficult in practice. We cannot let that stop us from practicing it though. It’s too important. The things we want in life should be that important to us. So important that we are willing to commit to spending just a few minutes a day to keeping ourselves focused and balanced. The best things that we want in life are the difficult things and that’s not going to change. Using our time and energy delibarately is something that we can change. Doing so in such a way that we spend more of our energy on the big stuff will undoubtedly lead to some wonderful life successes.