Lately, for whatever reason, I’ve been thinking about some of the key decisions I’ve made in my life. I call these Tactical Decisions. Tactical decisions are undoubtedly very important ones in life but their ultimate impact is usually not known for years. I’m talking about decisions such as accepting or departing from a job, getting married or getting divorced, staying where you live or moving someplace else, buying or selling a home, pursuing a graduate degree or taking that dream vacation. Those are just a few examples, but many of them all of us are likely to contemplate throughout our lives. One thing to notice about tactical decisions is that there is almost always a ying vs. yang relationship to them. Such as entering into a marriage vs. exiting a marriage via divorce. It’s possible that over time you will experience both sides of each coin. I know that I have. I’ve found that when some of these decisions have gone wrong (from my perspective at least) there has been a tendency to second guess them. I’ve also found that there’s really no point in second guessing after a decision has been made. It’s just a mental exercise at that point, and usually a painful one at that. We can only accept that we made the decision that we made and move forward from there.

My marriage and ultimate divorce 11 years later are two of those tactical decisions that have weighed on my mind. The marriage produced two children which yielded many wonderful family moments. The anticipation of a new pregnancy. The joy of a new birth. The sometimes exhausting but often joyful process of raising little ones. The process of the relationship with my ex-wife produced many wonderful moments. The first kiss. Falling in love. Discovering each other. The feeling that you were going to walk the world with that special someone. Alas, I experienced the downside of both marriage and family. The feeling of growing apart from a spouse and not knowing how to reverse that process. The frustration when I knew the marriage was not going to make it. The dread of being separated from my children post divorce. The feeling of the children’s love slipping away due to the phenomenon of parental alienation, which is more common than I realized. The financial and emotional cost of all of the above are staggering. On the one hand I mourn the past at times. On the other hand I marvel at how resilient I’ve been. I haven’t allowed the setbacks in life to break me. But yes indeed I have bent! I’ve come to realize that the process of bending in the wake of pressure is likely what prevents one from breaking. Divorce, and the related family fallout, have been painful but I have resigned myself to the fact that they were necessary since my ex-wife and I were drifting hopelessly apart. Hanging on to the marriage may have done more damage in the long run. Since then my next tactical decision with regard to relationships has been one to clearly avoid marriage. Because for all the joy of the upside, the pain of the downside is a more frightening proposition.

Anyone who has pursued a difficult goal that’s taken a long time and a lot of effort to achieve has probably experienced the subject of this post, which is Success Fatigue. For those of us who are goal-driven and success oriented success fatigue is a real threat to the accomplishment of our goals and dreams. I’ll speak about it from my own personal experience as I have experienced success fatigue while working on my health, career, finances and relationships. I’ve also witnessed success fatigue in other goal-driven individuals, either those who I’ve known personally or people whose stories I’ve seen in the media. So what is success fatigue and why is it so important to understand? Success fatigue is a state in which a person who has been actively pursuing a goal begins to resent the effort and sacrifices they have made and begins to feel deprived of experiences they might have had if not pursuing their goal. These feelings often lead to a regression in habits from the disciplined ones practiced during the pursuit of a goal to the undisciplined ones that left the person dissatisfied with a particular aspect of their life in the first place. It’s important to understand success fatigue because, if not acknowledged and addressed, it can lead to a situation where a person backslides and gives up all of the gains they have made towards their life goals. How sad do you think it would be to spend months or years pursuing an important life goal and then find yourself back at square one after abandoning virtuous habits due to success fatigue?

My own personal experience with success fatigue is what colors my perspective on this issue. About 11 years ago after a divorce I decided to dedicate myself to getting in better physical condition. After a decade in the corporate world, advancing my education at night and helping to raise children I had let myself go. My waist had expanded my a few inches. My chest and arms had shrunken. My stamina was all but gone. I had one of those ”I’ve had it” moments one day while looking in the mirror and considering my life situation. Something lit a fire in me to start exercising regularly and eating better, which I did for many months. After about 9 months of focus, discipline and sacrifice (using knowledge gained years earlier when I was a fitness trainer) I found myself in the best physical shape I was in since more than a decade before. I could run for miles without stopping. I had muscle tone and decent strength again. I had dropped inches from my waist and could fit into pants I hadn’t worn for years. Success! Touchdown! It was a great feeling, but perhaps too great. When I realized how well I’d done I was proud but I also failed to realize that I also had started to feel as though I deprived myself too much during that 9 month period. I celebrated my success by getting lax on my diet and exercise regime. I began to skip workouts and splurge more on rich foods and alcohol. Weeks went by and I didn’t notice a difference so I thought everything was good. Then I decided to take an end of summer trip to Miami Beach. The celebration continued. Mojitos, Cuban food, sand and sunshine. Good times! While preparing to go to the beach I put on a swim suit that I had worn months before when I was slimmer. The swimsuit was now tight on me around the waist. I wondered what was wrong. Taking my first critical look in the mirror since I had realized how well I’d been doing months before I could see that my physique had once again changed, slowly but surely, over the weeks when I had changed my habits.

In February 2023 I took what my boss at the time called “an extended vacation” which was a 12-day Caribbean cruise that resulted in me taking nine work days off. This trip ended up being a catalyst for my desire to retire early (before age 60) rather than working full-time till at least 62 years of age, which is what I was planning to do up to that point. There were two general issues that lead me determining that early retirement would be right for me, one of which I confronted prior to the cruise and the other which occurred to me during the cruise. The first issue was the fact that taking nine work days off was considered (by my boss at least) as an extended vacation. The second issue had to do with what I witnessed with respect to the other passengers on the cruise.

The issue regarding the length of time I could take off from work definitely frustrated me as I planned to do something during that particular period in February 2023. As with most people, any kind of a real vacation just wasn’t possible in the years 2020-2022. Add to that fact that during those same years the stress level of my job had ratcheted up considerably. Because I was working at home all the time the expectation was that I’d be available for all kinds of hours and that an increased workload might even be a welcome situation to help distract from everything else in the world. I didn’t see it that way but that’s the way the powers that be defined the time. So by January 2023 when I started to plan my time off I really needed a getaway and not just for a few days either. A two-week vacation, something I hadn’t taken during my 11+ years at the is particular company, would afford me sixteen straight days (ten work days and six weekend days) to enjoy my time off. Sixteen days afforded me some nice possibilities for travel. It became clear to me during the early planning for my vacation that, due to my work responsibilities and my company’s lean approach to staffing, a full two-weeks was untenable. So I compromised and decided to start my vacation on a Tuesday and go through the end of the following week.

As I ponder my plans for early retirement in 2027 I’ve been thinking more about why people continue to work. Not just people who are nearing or thinking of retirement but people in general. I suppose these thoughts have entered my head because I want to leave no stone unturned in my consideration of eventually walking away from my career around the age of 57. Of course, I’m not just walking away from my career. I’m also walking towards the next phase of my life. But the impact of my decision is not the purpose of this article. Rather, I want to consider whether there are any good reasons for me to continue working past the age of 57. Contemplation has lead me to the four main reasons to keep working that I’ve listed below.

1. Needing the money to cover immediate needs.
2. Furthering some future goal that requires a large sum of money.
3. Maintaining an identity or status associated with work.
4. Fulfilling a real or perceived obligation, monetary or otherwise.

As a person who is contemplating early retirement from my career, which I define as retiring before the age of 60, I have decided to ensure that I fully understand the why of my decision to retire early. I do this for the reason that I want ensure that my purpose is strong enough to carry me through what will surely be some ups and downs of choosing to walk away from a lucrative corporate job at the age of 57, as I plan to do. I’ve found in life that having a strong why for doing anything complicated or difficult is central to the prospects for succeeding and being happy with whatever life challenge one chooses to take on. I’m also aware that there are many people who have expressed regret about retiring at a certain point in their lives due to it leading to boredom and a loss of the general direction that comes with maintaining an active career. I certainly don’t want that to be me.

I’ve done some research on the demographics of retirement and one thing that I was surprised to find out is that a good percentage (about 25%) of people who consider themselves retired are under the most common retirement age in the US, which is 62 (and driven by the fact that 62 is the first age when a person can claim Social Security retirement benefits). There are a good number of people in government jobs (including the military, teaching and first responders) who are able to claim a full retirement after 30 years of service. Some of these people may choose to take a different job to supplement their pensions but a good number choose to just be retired. There are also people (my mom was an example of this) who have served for many years in corporations and are offered exit “packages” during their 50s that make retirement possible. Still, retirement at age 57 as I’m contemplating is considered by many people to be early. It’s good to know that I’ll be far from alone though.