Anyone who has pursued a difficult goal that’s taken a long time and a lot of effort to achieve has probably experienced the subject of this post, which is Success Fatigue. For those of us who are goal-driven and success oriented success fatigue is a real threat to the accomplishment of our goals and dreams. I’ll speak about it from my own personal experience as I have experienced success fatigue while working on my health, career, finances and relationships. I’ve also witnessed success fatigue in other goal-driven individuals, either those who I’ve known personally or people whose stories I’ve seen in the media. So what is success fatigue and why is it so important to understand? Success fatigue is a state in which a person who has been actively pursuing a goal begins to resent the effort and sacrifices they have made and begins to feel deprived of experiences they might have had if not pursuing their goal. These feelings often lead to a regression in habits from the disciplined ones practiced during the pursuit of a goal to the undisciplined ones that left the person dissatisfied with a particular aspect of their life in the first place. It’s important to understand success fatigue because, if not acknowledged and addressed, it can lead to a situation where a person backslides and gives up all of the gains they have made towards their life goals. How sad do you think it would be to spend months or years pursuing an important life goal and then find yourself back at square one after abandoning virtuous habits due to success fatigue?

My own personal experience with success fatigue is what colors my perspective on this issue. About 11 years ago after a divorce I decided to dedicate myself to getting in better physical condition. After a decade in the corporate world, advancing my education at night and helping to raise children I had let myself go. My waist had expanded my a few inches. My chest and arms had shrunken. My stamina was all but gone. I had one of those ”I’ve had it” moments one day while looking in the mirror and considering my life situation. Something lit a fire in me to start exercising regularly and eating better, which I did for many months. After about 9 months of focus, discipline and sacrifice (using knowledge gained years earlier when I was a fitness trainer) I found myself in the best physical shape I was in since more than a decade before. I could run for miles without stopping. I had muscle tone and decent strength again. I had dropped inches from my waist and could fit into pants I hadn’t worn for years. Success! Touchdown! It was a great feeling, but perhaps too great. When I realized how well I’d done I was proud but I also failed to realize that I also had started to feel as though I deprived myself too much during that 9 month period. I celebrated my success by getting lax on my diet and exercise regime. I began to skip workouts and splurge more on rich foods and alcohol. Weeks went by and I didn’t notice a difference so I thought everything was good. Then I decided to take an end of summer trip to Miami Beach. The celebration continued. Mojitos, Cuban food, sand and sunshine. Good times! While preparing to go to the beach I put on a swim suit that I had worn months before when I was slimmer. The swimsuit was now tight on me around the waist. I wondered what was wrong. Taking my first critical look in the mirror since I had realized how well I’d been doing months before I could see that my physique had once again changed, slowly but surely, over the weeks when I had changed my habits.

Continue reading “Success Fatigue” →

In February 2023 I took what my boss at the time called “an extended vacation” which was a 12-day Caribbean cruise that resulted in me taking nine work days off. This trip ended up being a catalyst for my desire to retire early (before age 60) rather than working full-time till at least 62 years of age, which is what I was planning to do up to that point. There were two general issues that lead me determining that early retirement would be right for me, one of which I confronted prior to the cruise and the other which occurred to me during the cruise. The first issue was the fact that taking nine work days off was considered (by my boss at least) as an extended vacation. The second issue had to do with what I witnessed with respect to the other passengers on the cruise.

The issue regarding the length of time I could take off from work definitely frustrated me as I planned to do something during that particular period in February 2023. As with most people, any kind of a real vacation just wasn’t possible in the years 2020-2022. Add to that fact that during those same years the stress level of my job had ratcheted up considerably. Because I was working at home all the time the expectation was that I’d be available for all kinds of hours and that an increased workload might even be a welcome situation to help distract from everything else in the world. I didn’t see it that way but that’s the way the powers that be defined the time. So by January 2023 when I started to plan my time off I really needed a getaway and not just for a few days either. A two-week vacation, something I hadn’t taken during my 11+ years at the is particular company, would afford me sixteen straight days (ten work days and six weekend days) to enjoy my time off. Sixteen days afforded me some nice possibilities for travel. It became clear to me during the early planning for my vacation that, due to my work responsibilities and my company’s lean approach to staffing, a full two-weeks was untenable. So I compromised and decided to start my vacation on a Tuesday and go through the end of the following week.

Continue reading “The Trip That Opened My Eyes” →

As I ponder my plans for early retirement in 2027 I’ve been thinking more about why people continue to work. Not just people who are nearing or thinking of retirement but people in general. I suppose these thoughts have entered my head because I want to leave no stone unturned in my consideration of eventually walking away from my career around the age of 57. Of course, I’m not just walking away from my career. I’m also walking towards the next phase of my life. But the impact of my decision is not the purpose of this article. Rather, I want to consider whether there are any good reasons for me to continue working past the age of 57. Contemplation has lead me to the four main reasons to keep working that I’ve listed below.

1. Needing the money to cover immediate needs.
2. Furthering some future goal that requires a large sum of money.
3. Maintaining an identity or status associated with work.
4. Fulfilling a real or perceived obligation, monetary or otherwise.

Continue reading “Reasons Why People Continue Working” →

As a person who is contemplating early retirement from my career, which I define as retiring before the age of 60, I have decided to ensure that I fully understand the why of my decision to retire early. I do this for the reason that I want ensure that my purpose is strong enough to carry me through what will surely be some ups and downs of choosing to walk away from a lucrative corporate job at the age of 57, as I plan to do. I’ve found in life that having a strong why for doing anything complicated or difficult is central to the prospects for succeeding and being happy with whatever life challenge one chooses to take on. I’m also aware that there are many people who have expressed regret about retiring at a certain point in their lives due to it leading to boredom and a loss of the general direction that comes with maintaining an active career. I certainly don’t want that to be me.

I’ve done some research on the demographics of retirement and one thing that I was surprised to find out is that a good percentage (about 25%) of people who consider themselves retired are under the most common retirement age in the US, which is 62 (and driven by the fact that 62 is the first age when a person can claim Social Security retirement benefits). There are a good number of people in government jobs (including the military, teaching and first responders) who are able to claim a full retirement after 30 years of service. Some of these people may choose to take a different job to supplement their pensions but a good number choose to just be retired. There are also people (my mom was an example of this) who have served for many years in corporations and are offered exit “packages” during their 50s that make retirement possible. Still, retirement at age 57 as I’m contemplating is considered by many people to be early. It’s good to know that I’ll be far from alone though.

Continue reading “Planning For Early Retirement” →

In the midst of the holiday season thoughts of gifts are in the air. Gifts we’d like to give to others and gifts we’d like to receive from others. But let’s not forget about the gifts that we can, and should, give to ourselves. I’m not speaking of physical gifts, although there’s always something we feel like we could use. I’m talking about the intangible things and those intangible things are some of the most important in terms of quality of life and happiness. I think that most of us feel a bit selfish when we start thinking about ourselves and not wanting to feel selfish we often fight that urge. It’s not selfish at all though to consider how may treat ourselves to something that will improve the quality of our lives.

Continue reading “The Gifts We Give Ourselves” →

Some of you may have heard of a book called Don’t Sweat The Small Stuff written by Richard Carlson. The premise of the book is a very simple one but following the premise is decidedly difficult for most people. For whatever reason we humans tend to get all wrapped up in the little things in our lives (the small stuff) that in the long run don’t make much of a difference. Yet we tend to obsess over them. And that obsession is costly in that we lose focus with regard to the big picture things that truly make a difference in our lives. I’ve tread over this ground before on a post made nearly three years ago titled The One Thing. Recent events, such as having to deal with two hurricanes in Florida, had me thinking once again about the value of staying focused on the big stuff, the stuff that really matters, instead of obsessing over the little things that in the long run don’t make much of a difference in my life.

What is fascinating to me is how dealing with two hurricanes within two weeks of each other reset my mindset to the point where the numerous small worries that I had been dedicating energy to prior to the storms were completely forgotten. After the storms passed the issues were still there but in my mind their importance was practically eliminated. My attitude on these things went from worrying about how to handle the issues to realizing that they’re not such a big deal. For example, I’d been worrying about the age of my car (over 17 years) and whether or not I should upgrade the vehicle. The fact is that my car runs fine and keeping it has been a factor in helping me to build wealth over the years since I haven’t invested in a car payment. Then the storms came and I was so glad that I had a car that ran well and had a full tank of gas so I could evacuate. Then after the storms I was so glad to have a car that didn’t get flooded out like some many people’s cars did. I honestly don’t know why I was fretting over the vehicle in the first place. But I was for sure. Wouldn’t it be nice to be able to flip that same switch in our minds without needed to massive hurricanes to affect the change?

Continue reading “Sweating The Small Stuff” →

So many people want to achieve in life, gain wealth and be recognized for their accomplishments but very few ever come close to achieving the ideas that they have in their heads. I think that’s always been the case but recently I’ve pondered the following question. Why, in a time when we have more tools than ever and more access to knowledge than ever, do so few people achieve anywhere near the levels that they aspire to? I believe that the answer to the question is as follows. They believe they can build a mansion with grains of sand.

Now I’m pretty sure that everyone knows that you can’t build a mansion with grains of sand. So why even try? Well, a person might try if they had become convinced that the grains of sand were cinderblocks. From that point of view their efforts wouldn’t seem so foolish. Still, people have been fooled and it’s worth (to me at least) exploring what’s happening and why. The world today is one where people have become accustomed to sharing every little bit of information about their lives. What they’re having for breakfast. What they’re thinking. What they’re doing or where they are at any given moment. These minute things that once were considered pedestrian are now thought to be spectacular events. People expect, or at least hope, to get strong positive reactions to their everyday mundane activities. And for non-mundane activities such as taking a vacation or going to a fancy party people expect great accolades. That kind of attention is addictive and it devalues the pride one used to feel in obscure efforts that eventually lead to fantastic results.

Continue reading “Building A Mansion With Grains Of Sand” →

I shall consider this post part philosophy, part conspiracy theory and part madness. Which means don’t take it too seriously but don’t dismiss the contents altogether. My plan is to explore a theme that has been common in my thoughts for many years. The theme is basically that there is a system that’s beyond the control of all of us (save perhaps a precious few masters of the universe) and does its best to keep us as a part of that system in one way or another. Some ways are quite obvious and other ways are quite subtle. Regardless, everyone serves the system in some way. I guess you could say that this theme is inspired by the Alan Watts theory that life is a game.

One example of this system of which I speak can be found in a scene early in the film The Wolf Of Wall Street, which was directed by Martin Scorcese and starring Leonardo DiCaprio. The film is based on the true story of a man from Queens, New York who ruthlessly built a successful stock trading firm outside of Manhattan by teaching his brokers high pressure sales tactics and sometimes engaging in outright illegal practices. In the scene in question a young Jordan Belfort is at his first job on Wall Street and having lunch with his new boss Mr. Hanna, who’s played by Matthey McConaughey. Hanna tells Belfort what his job as a stock broker is really all about. And it’s not about making his clients the most money via stock trades!

Continue reading “The System Wants You In The System” →

Most of life is about taking small steps forward. In fact, I’d argue that a person’s ability to take small steps is more important than their ability to take big ones. And so for most things in life I ascribe to the crawl, walk, run theory. You start be learning the very basics of something. Then you move on to a place where you have enough skill to do it on your own. Finally, if you put in the effort, you might be able to accomplish something extraordinary. I’ve also found that there are times in life where assuming that ever change has to be incremental artificially limits a person. When you truly believe that only small gains are ever possible at a given time then that’s likely to be the reality in your life.

I know that there are many people who fantasize about making significant changes in their lives. I know I have. We seek out game changers. As in an event or accomplishment that will reset our lives. Place us on a new path. Set a new direction. Lead us to a higher purpose or better place. I suppose those of us that long for game changers in our lives are dreamers. We’re people who are striving for something more. I’ve had at least one game changer so far in my life and while that event set me on a future course it’s also made me realize just how hard game changers are to come by. Which is why I’m of the belief that you can’t force a game changer. You have to set the table patiently and be ready to capitalize on an opportunity when it presents itself.

Continue reading “Game Changers” →