If there’s one thing that I’ve learned in half a century on this spinning rock it’s that you will be defined more by how you react to the downs in life than how you react to the ups. We all know what to do when things go our way. We celebrate. We relax. We feel good. For a while at least. But what are we supposed to do when things seemingly turn against us? I’d be lying if I said that I celebrated failures or other misfortunes. It is often said that winners celebrate and losers contemplate. Some people believe it’s that contemplation period that turns today’s losers into tomorrow’s winners.

I’ve come to understand that contemplation is a better approach to dealing with negative outcomes than almost any other reaction besides ignoring negative outcomes altogether. Often people fall into the trap of depression and (even worse) self-abuse when things don’t go their way in life. Examples of self-abuse include overeating, consuming alcohol or drugs and withdrawing from their lives. All of these things are forms of giving up on ourselves. I think that giving up in life, even for short periods, is always a shame because there’s almost always more that we can do to add to our own and others lives.

The title of this post is a result of something I’ve heard motiviational speaker Les Brown say during his talks. If you can look up you can get up. What it means is that when times are tough as long as you’re still alive you can bounce back. It’s about not wallowing in your problems and thinking the situations that you’re in are hopeless. Another quote from the motiviational sales trainer Jim Rohn frames the issue perfectly. It goes something like this. What happens to you happens to everyone.

I know that in the past I’ve had a tendency to adopt a defeatist attitude towards situations occuring in my life, basically declaring defeat when things went against me. Sometimes it had to do with relationships Other times it had to do with finances. Other times it had to do with my health. Then there were the unexpected things like a car accident. It’s true that all of the above things happen to everyone. But when you’re invested in a defeatist mindset you think they only happen to you. You think that you’re resigned to a life of misery and misfortune. You’re not. The world is not out to get you…although I know it can certainly feel that way at times!

One of my favorite oft spoken truisms by legendary motivator and sales trainer Jim Rohn goes like this. Some do and some don’t! On its own the phrase is quite ambiguous but in the context of Rohn’s talks the statement makes a lot of sense. Rohn often talked about those little things that make the difference between people who are successful and people who are not. Reading of books (or not) was a typical Rohn example of his some do and some don’t philosophy. Some people read the books that contain a wealth of knowledge about success…and some don’t! Jim used to talk about only 3% of people having a library card where the knowledge of the world was free for all to explore. That was 35-40 years ago of course but even with the internet the same thing goes. Some do and some don’t seek out knowledge.

So are you or aren’t you doing the things that will help you to attain success in the various areas of your life? Your mind. Your health. Your finances. I call these things the three Bs. Brain, body and bank! When Jim Rohn spoke about doing often he did so in terms of the simple things that most people ignore like reading a book (brain), eating an apple a day (body) or prioritizing profits over wages (bank). There are small things that you can do every single day that don’t require much effort that will push you forward in the three Bs and after not too long they will push you ahead of most people. Most people don’t do these things. Why not? For Jim Rohn the issue of why not was never really a concern. His point was always that you should because of the places that it will take you and how it will change you in a positive way. So if you’re not satisfied with the direction of your life I mere ask you to ask yourself the following question. What things can I do to change my situation?

There’s this quote that I remember from the TV show The Sopranos where the main character Tony Soprano (who is the leader of a fictional mafia family in Northern New Jersey) states something to the effect of the following. “More is lost by indecision than wrong decision.” The fictional Tony Soprano character is far from the only person to opine on the timeliness of decisions. The philosophical entertainer Alan Watts has spoken at length about the dangers of attempting to parse each and every nugget of information possible prior to making a decision on something important. The point of both examples above is that when considering a life decision there comes a time when waiting to parse more information just isn’t worth it. I’ll add a final statement to this initial thought, which comes from the late Apple co-founder Steve Jobs who once supposedly stated the following. “Artists ship.” To me what Steve Jobs was saying there was that people need to be oriented towards delivering on their goals more than they need to be oriented towards researching and refining their goals.

The question of waiting vs. executing on an idea or a plan is one that has come up many times in my life. It’s been an issue regarding major life events related to relationships, money, health and even creative efforts such as writing. I have found that my approach to handling such things has changed over time. When I was a young adult in my late teens to late twenties I tended to develop ideas then act on them relatively quickly (like within a year). During my thirties to mid-forties I tended to give more consideration to ideas and goals. I think this change was largely driven by the fact that after I started a family there was a lot more at stake with each decision I made. That was not the case during earlier years when any negative outcomes would affect only me. Now as I have moved beyond my forties I find the pendulum swinging back towards shorter periods of contemplation, but periods that are still longer than the ones in my twenties. So what’s changed?

Life is a journey, not a destination. So sayeth an Aerosmith song! 😂 Seriously though, whether we like it or not (and as the title of this blog indicates) we are all In The Midst Of A Journey called life. And there is no journey where you are constantly moving. In every journey there will be times when you just stop. You stop to rest. You stop to fulfill biological needs. You stop to get your bearings and decide if you are still headed to where you want to go. To name a few reasons. Work and careers are a major part of life for most of us. They are an integral part of the journey. So why not call a halt to your career every so often?

The last question I’m sure would elicit a variety of answers from people depending on what their life situation is. It’s a question that I have not pondered in many years but recently (over the past 12 months) I’ve been thinking about it more and more. In my 20s I used to think about career breaks a lot! I actually had about five different careers in my 20s as I was still finding myself and hadn’t discovered any particular thing that motivated me strongly. I also had few responsiblities. I either lived at home with my parents (in my early 20s) and then later (my mid to late 20s) I either had roommates in a small apartment or lived alone in a very small apartment. Children and family were not yet on my radar so my cost of living and responsiblities were minimal. So I got into this cycle of saving up money when I was tired of a job, then quitting the job, then taking it easy for a while (weeks to months) and finally seeking out a new opportunity. When I was 29 all of that changed.

Outside the comfort zone is where you grow as a person. It’s something that I’ve learned time and time again over the years. Some people embrace this concept more than others. In fact, most people do not embrace the concept. Most people embrace the idea that the “warm and cozy” place is the best place for them. So be it. The real question is this. How do YOU feel about that?

If you’re longing for something different or something more in life then you NEED to exit your comfort zone. You need to be exposed to new people, new surroundings and new ideas. Not necessarily forever, but for periods of time so that you can start to absorb different perspectives and feel free to think in a different way than you do usually. The paradox of the comfort zone in terms of people is that the people in your comfort zone likely care about you but they also may be tired of hearing about your ideas, hopes and dreams. And so their lack of enthusiasm that manifests in response to your plans often ends up leaving you feeling frustrated.